So one of the attorneys in my office just sent around a forward in which he converted a bunch of blonde jokes… into Bush jokes.?? Gotta love it.?? Felt the need to share.?? I hadn’t even heard a bunch of these before! Woo, I love a good blonde joke, despite being of the fair-haired persuasion myself… it’s like Natalie Portman’s character Sam said in the movie Garden State, “If you can’t laugh, life’s gonna seem a whole lot longer.”?? I hope I got that right.?? Anyway, enjoy!
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Bush and Cheney were in??Oklahoma??sitting on a bench talking…..and Cheney says to Bush: “Which do you think is farther away……….Florida or the moon?
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Bush turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida…….?????
CAR TROUBLE
Bush pushes his BMW into a gas station. He tells the mechanic it died.
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After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
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Bush says, “What’s the story?”
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He replies, Just crap in the carburetor”
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Bush asks, “How often do I have to do that?”
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SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops Bush for speeding and asks him very nicely if he could see his license.
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Bush replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together.?? Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”
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RIVER WALK
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Cheney is out for a walk. He comes to the Potomac river and sees Bush on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo!” he shouts, “How can I get to the other side?”
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Bush looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, “You ARE on the other side.”
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KNITTING
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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that President Bush was behind the wheel and??was knitting!?? Realizing that Bush was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , “PULL OVER!”….”NO!” Bush yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”
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BUSH ON THE SUN
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A Russian, President Bush and another?? American were talking one day.?? The Russian said, “We were the first in space!”
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The American said, “We were the first on the moon!”
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Bush said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!”
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The Russian and the other American looked at each other and shook their heads.?? “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian.
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To which Bush replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”
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IN A VACUUM
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Bush was playing Trivial Pursuit one night with Laura. It was his turn.???? He rolled the dice and?? landed on Science & Nature. His question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your
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George thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”
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FINALLY, THE BUSH JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
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A girl was visiting her old longtime friend?? from Texas, President Bush, who had acquired two new dogs.?? She asked him what their names were.
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George responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
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The friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
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“HELLOOOOOO,” answered Bush: “They’re watch dogs!”
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